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[quote] On 07-10-2002 09:29, Hawumph wrote: Northerners v Southerners 18 degrees - Southerners turn on the heating - people in the North plant their gardens. 15 degrees - Southerners shiver uncontrollably - people in the North sunbathe. 9 degrees - Southern cars will not start - people in the North drive with the windows down. 5 degrees - Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats people in the North throw on a T-shirt (girls start wearing mini-skirts). 2 degrees - Southerners begin to evacuate - people in the North go swimming in the North Sea. Zero degrees - Southern landlords turn up the heat - people in the North have the last BBQ before it gets cold. Minus 3 degrees - Southerners cease to exist - people in the North throw on a lightweight jacket. Minus 20 degrees - Polar bears wonder if it's worth it - Boy scouts in the North start wearing long trousers. Minus 50 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - people in the North put on their long johns. Minus 173 degrees - alcohol freezes - people in the North get frustrated because the pubs are shut. Minus 297 degrees - Microbial life starts to disappear. The cows on Roker Park complain of farmers with cold hands Minus 460 degrees - All atomic motion stops - people in the North start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands. Minus 500 degrees - Hell freezes over - Manchester City qualify for Europe. [/quote]
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